Focusing on Happiness

This was recently sent to me by a friend. Very good stuff. First 10 minutes are setup/standup comedy, but it's worth it for the payoff.

Marriage Is What Brings Us Together Today

Married people who have children are happier than married people who don't have children and are also happier than people who are unmarried who do have children. Interesting.

health.msn.com/kids-health

And this is from the Princess Bride, one of the greatest movies ever made -



I met Chris Sarandon (Prince Humperdink) at Albany Airport once. It was a fine day.

Be Happy

Here are five tips on how to be so from ThirdAge. They have nothing to do with driving a fancy car or wearing diamonds around your neck. I'm fairly certain that those things will not make you happy.

1. Reflect more, be true to yourself. "We must recognize the importance of good stuff every day, always nurture the good stuff and reflect on the good stuff," Thibodeau said. He said people smile, laugh, feel good and have energy about the positive things in life. "We forget about the good stuff," he said. "How many messages we receive are positive?" Thibodeau asked. He suggested that people take time for family and visit a friend, read and write poetry, and follow their heart, he said. "Take time for matters of the heart," Thibodeau said.
2. Leave no regrets. The sin of old life is melancholy, Thibodeau said. "No matter what you're doing, show up and do the best you can," he said. He referred to Ann Quindlen, an author and a Pulitzer Prize-winning columnist, who said, "I show up, I listen, and I try to laugh." People never forget an act of kindness or someone who took the time to come to a funeral, Thibodeau said. "Your friends need you more than Oprah," he told the audience.
3. Become love. Be a loving presence to others. The biggest regrets are that we have not loved enough and didn't spend more time with family and friends, Thibodeau said.
4. Enjoy more. Live in the moment. Thibodeau asked the crowd to stand up and follow what looked like a dance and the cheer, "I feel good, I feel fine, I feel happy all the time." He said we will be judged for what we have not enjoyed. "Laughter and play are so important to our health," Thibodeau said. "One of the greatest gifts is to give someone the gift of joy."
5. Give more than you take. Give more and nurture a legacy. "What are you going to leave behind?" Thibodeau said, adding that good work always lasts.

Stuff From All Over

I'm making up for my hiatus with a bunch of interesting stuff -

From ThirdAge -

Zicam can cause you to lose your sense of smell. I have a terrible one to begin with, so I'd better avoid that stuff.

One doctor has this to say about homeopathic remedies -

"Very often, the only active ingredient is alcohol, and patients don't know that, and they get a buzz-on. The therapeutic effect is no greater or less than a martini," -Dr. Jerry Avorn, expert in pharmaceutical safety at Harvard Medical School

Postmenopausal women (like Sotomayor and Clinton) have a pretty high risk of bone loss and weakness. ThirdAge lists some ways to counteract the effects of aging on bone strength, courtesy of Dr. Rachel Rohde, and orthopedic surgeon -

• Eat right. Be sure your diet is rich in calcium and vitamin D
• Expose yourself. Sunlight activates vitamin D, so spending 20 minutes either before 10 am or after 2 pm, several times a week in the sun with your arms and legs exposed (and without sunscreen), should be sufficient.
• Supplement with D. If you aren't exposed to sunlight on a regular basis, consider taking a vitamin D supplement
• Get Fit. Engage in a regular fitness program including weightbearing activity three to four hours per week
• Quit smoking. Here's one more reason to quit. Smoking cigarettes can be hazardous to your bone health
• Limit alcohol. If you do drink, do it in moderation. Too much can weaken your bones.
  
  

On happiness - "To be happy and content independent of events is not something that just happens, it is something we must work at every day." - Dr. Lynn (I don't know who that is, but she has a PhD and she's on ThirdAge). This reminds me of my favorite Dalai Lama (whose birth name is Tenzin Gyatso) quote -

"Every day, think as you wake up, today I am fortunate to be alive, I have a precious human life, I am not going to waste it. I am going to use all my energies to develop myself, to expand my heart out to others; to achieve enlightenment for the benefit of all beings. I am going to have kind thoughts towards others, I am not going to get angry or think badly about others. I am going to benefit others as much as I can."

From the New York Times. What the?

"Being overweight won’t kill you — it may even help you live longer. That’s the latest from a study that analyzed data on 11,326 Canadian adults, ages 25 and older, who were followed over a 12-year period."

Cinco de Mayo

It's approaching fast, mis amigos. In honor of the Mexican holiday that is only really celebrated in the US, I am posting Five Things Happy People Do from Oprah.com and WebMD. We all know how much I love WebMD. And everybody likes Oprah.

I especially liked the following one, which reminded me of how often I heard "must be nice" when working construction. I also hear that a lot from anchors on CNBC who probably make a pretty good living, but are always talking about billionaires, and feel relatively poor in comparison.

"They avoid 'if only' fantasies."

"If only I get a better job -- find a man -- lose the weight -- life will be perfect. Happy people don't buy into this kind of thinking."

"The latest research shows that we're surprisingly bad at predicting what will make us happy. People also tend to misjudge their contentment when zeroing in on a single aspect of their lives -- it's called the focusing illusion. In one study, single subjects were asked, 'How happy are you with your life in general?' and 'How many dates did you have last month?' When the dating question was asked first, their romantic lives weighed more heavily into how they rated their overall happiness than when the questions were reversed."

"The other argument against 'if only' fantasies has to do with 'hedonic adaptation' -- the brain's natural dimming effect, which guarantees that a new house won't generate the same pleasure a year after its purchase and the thrill of having a boyfriend will ebb as you get used to being part of a couple. Happy people are wise to this, which is why they keep their lives full of novelty, even if it's just trying a new activity (diving, yoga) or putting a new spin on an old favorite (kundalini instead of vinyasa)."

NYT Health

There's a great article in today's New York Times on the wide range of health benefits you get from regular exercise -

You Name It, and Exercise Helps It

The article points out how great it makes you feel to exercise, and I suspect that people who do not, think that exercising is really unpleasant. I always say that the hardest part about going to the gym is the trip over there. The actual working out is enjoyable. Afterward, you feel like a million bucks.

Besides the misconception that working out is unenjoyable (yes, that's a word), many people say they don't have time. Well, if you watch 3 hours of television a night, then you're lying.

Don't Sweat the Small Stuff

This comes from an article that my brother sent me over a year ago, and that I've just read. He sends me a lot of emails. I've mentioned this before.

Richard Carlson, who has a website called Don't Sweat the Small Stuff, makes an excellent point about happiness. He uses the following metaphor -

"Here's a good way to look at it. Suppose you live in Miami and you wanted to take a road trip to New York. So you get in the car and head West. The question is, where would you end up? The answer, of course, is that you could end up in many locations depending on how far you drove, but by no means would you end up in New York! You're going the wrong way!"

So, if you are surrounded by things (and thoughts) that make you unhappy, then you probably aren't going to be happy. I guess if you started out by driving west and then hit the Pacific, you could turn around and eventually make it to New York, but it would take a lot longer than first identifying the direction in which you should head and then going there.

This post is kind of cheesy. Sorry. To make up for it, I will say that the aforementioned website reminds me of those Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey that they used to have on SNL. What ever happened to those? Here are some of my favorites -

"You know one thing that will really make a woman mad? Just run up and kick her in the butt. (P.S. This also works with men.)"

"How come the dove gets to be the peace symbol? How about the pillow? It has more feathers than the dove, and it doesn't have that dangerous beak."

"I can picture in my mind a world without war, a world without hate. And I can picture us attacking that world, because they'd never expect it."

Almost forgot my all-time fave-

"Whether they ever find life there or not, I think Jupiter should be considered an enemy planet."

The Pursuit of Happiness

No big surprise here. If you're happy, you're healthy. There's a lot of talk these days about inflammation being a cause of many ailments. Being unhappy can lead to that. Here's some news from a study of 3,000 people in Britain.

"In the study, published in the American Journal of Epidemiology, women who reported more positive emotions had lower blood levels of two proteins that indicate widespread inflammation in the body. Chronic inflammation is believed to contribute to a range of ills over time, including heart disease and cancer."

Part of effective preventive medicine is addressing people's happiness.

"We need to help people to recognize the things that make them feel good and truly satisfied with their lives, so that they spend more time doing these things."

Harvard Squash and Happiness

The following list comes from NPR's website. Just today, I heard Diane Rehm interview the Harvard professor who teaches the prestigious university's most popular class, "Positive Psychology".

Dr. Tal Ben-Shahar revealed during the interview that he was a varsity squash player in college, so I was pretty psyched to hear that. I looked him up and it turns out he was national champion in 1995 (he attended Harvard). Not bad.

I have found several references over the years to the idea contained in number 2, and I believe it to be extremely important.

I also think you should listen to NPR if you have any time to do so during your day. You'll learn a lot that you might never have heard about.

Six Tips for Happiness

Advice from Tal Ben-Shahar.

1. Give yourself permission to be human. When we accept emotions -- such as fear, sadness, or anxiety -- as natural, we are more likely to overcome them. Rejecting our emotions, positive or negative, leads to frustration and unhappiness.

2. Happiness lies at the intersection between pleasure and meaning. Whether at work or at home, the goal is to engage in activities that are both personally significant and enjoyable. When this is not feasible, make sure you have happiness boosters, moments throughout the week that provide you with both pleasure and meaning.

3. Keep in mind that happiness is mostly dependent on our state of mind, not on our status or the state of our bank account. Barring extreme circumstances, our level of well being is determined by what we choose to focus on (the full or the empty part of the glass) and by our interpretation of external events. For example, do we view failure as catastrophic, or do we see it as a learning opportunity?

4. Simplify! We are, generally, too busy, trying to squeeze in more and more activities into less and less time. Quantity influences quality, and we compromise on our happiness by trying to do too much.

5. Remember the mind-body connection. What we do -- or don't do -- with our bodies influences our mind. Regular exercise, adequate sleep, and healthy eating habits lead to both physical and mental health.

6. Express gratitude, whenever possible. We too often take our lives for granted. Learn to appreciate and savor the wonderful things in life, from people to food, from nature to a smile.

Blue Monday?

I guess that's what today is called. There are a few links on today's Drudge Report about it. Some reasons given for being down this time of year are holiday debt, nasty weather, and failed resolutions. It surprises me that so many people would have given up on themselves so early in the year. Here's an article about the phenomenon in the Daily Mail. Another article posted on Drudge about the "World's Happiest Man" reminds me of one of Abe Lincoln's lines, "Most folks are about as happy as they make up their minds to be".

SWB

Contrary to popular belief, that doesn't stand for "single white bunny". SWB stands for "subjective well-being".

From the University of Leicester's School of Psychology:

"This underlying state is conceptualised as a sense of satisfaction with one’s life, both in general and in specific areas of one’s life such as relationships, health and work."

I read an article about the study in The Futurist magazine and was able to track down the paper and complete ranking of countries' scores on the Satisfaction With Life Scale here. Denmark and Switzerland tie for 1st place with a 273, followed by Austria, Iceland, Bahamas, Finland, and Sweden. USA is a little bit down the list with a score of 247, but comfortably ahead of the miserable French, at 220. It will come as no great shock that the bottom of the list is comprised of African and former Soviet Bloc countries, where health problems and poverty abound.