Won't somebody please think of the children!?

That's from The Simpsons, in case you don't recognize Helen Lovejoy's ubiquitous line.

The economic downturn is having an interesting effect on the nation's married couples, particularly because of falling real estate prices.

From the New York Times -

"In a normal economy, couples typically build equity in their homes, then divide that equity in a divorce, either after selling the house or with one partner buying out the other’s share. But after the recent boom-and-bust cycle, more couples own houses that neither spouse can afford to maintain, and that they cannot sell for what they owe. For couples already under stress, the family home has become a toxic asset."

The article contains a reference to one of my old favorites-

"'There’s an old joke,' said Randall M. Kessler, Ms. Needle’s lawyer. 'Why is a divorce so expensive? Because it’s worth it. Now it better really be worth it.'"

The Governator on 60 Minutes

Arnold has accomplished so much in his life and he has some interesting thoughts on goal setting at the conclusion of the interview. Well worth watching.

The Atkins Diet Is Stupid

Scientists from Tufts (so you know they're smart) say that eating low and no-carb diets makes you stupid. Duh, you're better off eating a balanced diet. I can't believe it. So they're telling us that you can't use some shortcut like eating nothing but steak to lose weight and be healthy? I mean, I'm as shocked as you are.

"The scientists behind the study believe that low-carb diets reduce the amount of glucose or blood sugar carried to the brain and used by nerve cells for energy."

Here's the link.

Mr. Madoff or: How I Learned to Stop Whining and Count My Blessings

I've been whining to people about how much I've lost in the stock market in the last six months, but wow, it could be so much worse. Even if you're having trouble paying for college or your kid's tuition, or even your mortgage, perhaps, it's not as bad as it could be. You could be one of the many who invested with Bernard Madoff.

There are people who, until today, thought they had millions upon millions of dollars invested with the (now infamous) Wall Street legend. Over night, that money has disappeared, as it turns out to have been one giant Ponzi scheme. The origins of that term are worth learning, in case you don't know the story.

This is not what Wall Street needs right now. From madoff.com -

"In an era of faceless organizations owned by other equally faceless organizations, Bernard L. Madoff Investment Securities LLC harks back to an earlier era in the financial world: The owner's name is on the door. Clients know that Bernard Madoff has a personal interest in maintaining the unblemished record of value, fair-dealing, and high ethical standards that has always been the firm's hallmark."

How ironic, indeed.

Hey, Big Spender

My friend Kim sent me an article about evolution playing a part in male spending. It's not a huge surprise that men spend money to attract mates, but it is fascinating to find that there is a direct correlation between the amount they spend as a percentage of income and how many sexual partners they have and desire in the future.

From a LiveScience article posted on Yahoo News -

"It is partially a result of our economic system and recent financial policies, but I really do think that our evolved mating strategies have an influence. Our competition for economic displays drives our consumer economy and culture of affluence.

"In terms of the current mortgage crisis, the findings suggest that one of the reasons why we overextend ourselves is that we're basically in a status race. We have expectations that spiral upward as people make more money, and everyone wants to show that they are better than average."

This is Timely

I take no satisfaction in reading this article, by which I mean, of course, that I was ecstatic on the inside but trying to show that I am not a bad person who is jealous of someone so rich, powerful and successful. Kind of like when management says that "So-and-so is our quarterback" or "so-and-so is our coach". Once you hear those words, you know you're canned. Not literally, of course. So, the point is that when you hear "I take no satisfaction" it means the exact opposite. Moving along...

I guess the acai berry thing hasn't worked out, because Oprah has just revealed (which I assume is no secret to people who actually watch her show) that her weight has climbed to 200 lbs. The reason for this is that Oprah tries to come up with gimmicky ways to lose weight and goes on diets. She needs to make a lifestyle change. That is the only way she will keep her weight at healthy levels. There is a notorious episode from 1988 when she paraded out on stage in size 10 jeans. To wit -

"When it came to slipping into those jeans, 'I had literally starved myself for four months [on a liquid-protein diet] – not a morsel of food,' Winfrey, an admitted food addict, said in 2005. 'Two hours after that show, I started eating to celebrate – of course, within two days those jeans no longer fit!'"

This is not just about looking good or fitting into a dress for Barack Obama's inauguration.

"According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, Winfrey's weight and height rank her as obese, with a body mass index of 31.8 – putting her at 'at higher risk for chronic conditions such as high blood pressure, diabetes and high cholesterol."

Dieting is Dumb

Earlier today I noticed a banner ad about "Oprah's New Acai Berry Diet!" or something like that. Are acai berries even something? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'll go look it up. Stupid Internet. Here you go, I found it at some site that I don't feel like referencing -

"Nature's Energy Fruit: Acai Berry as seen on Oprah's Show! You've likely never even heard of Acai Berry but Oprah has just featured it on her show and it is one of the 10 superfoods promoted by Dr Perricone. Studies have shown that this little berry is one of the most nutritious and powerful foods in the world! Açaí (ah-sigh-ee) berries are the high-energy berry of a special Amazon palm tree. Harvested in the rainforests of Brazil, açaí berry tastes like a vibrant and yummy blend of berries and chocolate. Açaí berry is packed full of antioxidants, amino acids and essential fatty acids. Although açaí berry may not yet be available in your local supermarket, you can find it in several health food and gourmet stores."

At least I know how to pronounce it now. I read it as "a-kai". Boy would my face have been red if I happened to run into the big O at an Art Basel party or something.

The whole reason I am writing this is not to promote acai berries, but rather to point out how utterly ridiculous it is for women to follow Oprah's nutrition advice. Does it merit an explanation? Why would you take advice from someone whose weight fluctuates so dramatically? She obviously has no handle on how to take care of her body. It's a good thing she's so rich, because it must be really expensive to keep buying clothes every month to keep up with the different sizes she requires.

I guess it's kind of like how I'm getting so super jacked that my t-shirts get tighter and tighter, except that I don't buy larger sizes. So I guess it's not the same thing after all.

As I write this I am coming to the realization that it is likely that women like the fact that someone else who has so much trouble is trying to show them the way, and they therefore think that Oprah feels their pain, so that somehow makes her a better person to advise them. But that's like taking financial advice from Dick Fuld or getting help with your drug addiction from Robert Downey, Jr.

I'm assuming that there's a website that has photos of Oprah at all different weights, and I can also assume that she will have hilarious, varying hair styles (cough, wigs), kind of like you can look up all the different faces of Michael Jackson or Mickey Rourke (I put Rourke in there since this paragraph had taken a potentially dangerous turn towards a "race" thing).

It's taking too long, but I'm pretty sure that site exists or will exist in the near future.

My original reason for this post is not Oprah, rather it is an article in the New York Times about how Americans are the most informed people on the planet when it comes to nutrition and yet somehow manage to be the heaviest. Part of that phenomenon can be attributed to the "health halo". In New York City, Benevolent Dictator Michael Bloomberg long ago got the ban on trans fats through and now people think everything is healthier.

Here's some interesting information as well as some classic French condescension. You have to love that. If you read it with a silly French accent it's really funny. I now have to make sure I have the correct alternation of double and single quotation marks lest my brother Brendan berate me for bad grammar. I hope he appreciates that alliteration.

"'People who eat at McDonald’s know their sins,' Dr. Chandon said, 'but people at Subway think that a 1,000-calorie sandwich has only 500 calories.' His advice is not for people to avoid Subway or low-fat snacks, but to take health halos into account.

"'People need to look up calorie information, and this information needs to be clearly available on the menu or on the front of packages,' Dr. Chandon said. 'If no information is available, people should say to themselves: "This restaurant or this brand claims to be healthy in general. Let’s see if I can come up with two reasons why this claim would not apply to this particular food." When we asked people to follow this "consider the opposite" strategy, it completely eliminated health halos.'

"More generally, Dr. Chandon advises American consumers, food companies and public officials to spend less time obsessing about 'good' versus 'bad' food.

"'Being French, I don’t have any problem with people enjoying lots of foods,' he said. 'Europeans obsess less about nutrition but know what a reasonable portion size is and when they have had too much food, so they’re not as biased by food and diet fads and are healthier. Too many Americans believe that to lose weight, what you eat matters more than how much you eat. It’s the country where people are the best informed about food and enjoy it the least.'"