Got Abs? Personality? Health Insurance Won't Hurt, Either
Online Daters See Big Benefits In Mates With Coverage; Mr. David's Proposition
By SARAH RUBENSTEIN March 22, 2006
Christine Ferris is searching online for that special someone. "I would like to meet a man who can relax and enjoy the woods, the fog, the sea, the mountains," says her profile on dating site True.com. "Someone who can feel the wonder of nature. I am a romantic and you are too."
Also, her ideal man should "have health insurance and use it."
Health insurance is expensive, complex and bureaucratic. These days, it's also sexy. Right up there with washboard abs, a steady job and a fun-loving personality, health coverage is emerging as a hot selling point among online daters. It's especially the case among suitors of a certain age who need, and prize, good benefits the most.
Those who have it sometimes flaunt it as an asset, a sign to potential mates that they are serious, professional and grounded. Others troll for partners with blue-chip policies because they need coverage themselves, or want evidence -- short of asking for a credit report -- that a prospect isn't a slacker.
"I don't have time to waste," explains Ms. Ferris, a 45-year-old teacher from Sebastian, Fla. "If you care about yourself, then you're going to tend to care about other people as well."
Lisa Dunbar, a 49-year-old legal secretary, recently posted her prescription for romantic suitors on Craigslist's Los Angeles site. "Are you strong, smart and sophisticated, confident and kind, without being too uppity or conceited? Do you make at least $75,000 a year and have health insurance?"
Ms. Dunbar says that several years ago, when she was uninsured, she ended up in the hospital for hand surgery and had to rely on public assistance to cover most of the bills. The experience prompted her to change jobs to get health coverage. Now, she expects a mate with similar priorities -- one who comes bearing his own deductible and co-pays. "I want somebody to be as together as I am," she says.
Medical coverage used to be a perk that many people took for granted. But at a time when insurance rates are soaring, and an aging work force has seen its benefits slashed, folks on the dating scene are learning that it's hard to find a good plan.
It's not just women who are on a health-insurance kick. "I'm looking for a woman who knows what she wants and isn't afraid to ask for it," says Dan Schmedeman's profile on Yahoo Personals. "One with a nice smile and a healthy attitude, that can be open and honest....A flat stomach and health insurance plan wouldn't hurt either."
Mr. Schmedeman, a 50-year-old independent home builder from Castle Rock, Colo., says he pays about $350 a month for high-deductible insurance, money he figures he'd save if he could join somebody's employer-sponsored plan. "I was kind of halfway joking -- but not really," he says.
In a Los Angeles Craigslist posting, fraud investigator Joe Johnson recently tempted "sexy single moms" by pointing out that he "can supply all the little things like health insurance and the big things like a nice place to live, etc."
He got the idea for the ad after going out with a woman who asked him, point blank, whether she'd qualify for benefits if they ultimately married. "I said, 'Well if that ever happened, of course, that's easy. You'd be covered immediately.' "
That relationship fizzled, but the personal ad that followed, featuring his insurance plan, drew dozens of responses -- among the most he has ever received. Mr. Johnson, 56, says he went on a few dates, including one with a pregnant woman who didn't have coverage.
Marriage as a means to medical insurance was a recent story line on the television show "Desperate Housewives." The single character Susan Mayer (played by Teri Hatcher) secretly remarried her ex-husband in order to gain health coverage for spleen surgery.
Marc Cherry, the show's creator, says he based the idea on the experience of a female friend. Several years ago, after being treated for cervical cancer while uninsured, the friend married a gay man for his medical plan.
Hip to such strategies, some online posters lace their messages with policy-speak. "If you are able to add someone to your health insurance as a 'spousal equivalent' have I got a deal for you," says Ron David in a posting on the Norfolk, Va., Craigslist site. "You can live rent-free in my waterfront home. Wake up every morning with a view usually only available when you are on vacation. I will pay the additional premium as well."
Mr. David says his health history includes a heart attack, arthritis and a concussion for which he still takes medications. The 56-year-old property inspector says his plan premium and prescription costs currently total at least $1,100 a month -- hence his unromantic plea. Mr. David says the proposal, which he posted more than once, yielded a few feelers and one serious (albeit unsatisfactory) offer.
Sometimes, health insurance serves as a way for Internet daters to explain away awkward circumstances.
In his profile on OkCupid.com, Craig Allen, of Honomu, Hawaii, elaborated on his separated-but-not-divorced status: "Recently separated, will get divorced sometime but what about health insurance?" reads Mr. Allen's post. "I believe everyone deserves health insurance personally, and my wife needs to be my wife to get health insurance at the moment."
In an interview, Mr. Allen, a 38-year-old software engineer, says he has been the chief breadwinner during the couple's 14 years of marriage. Now his wife, Alison, is making the transition to financial independence, but she's still covered by Mr. Allen's policy. "We are not in a rush to get divorced because of this health coverage issue," she writes in an email. Mr. Allen says he thought it best to be upfront online about his lingering obligation.
Meanwhile, medical coverage has become such an elixir that some love-lorn types are moved to express themselves in verse. One Craigslist poster in St. Louis wrote:
I want you to take me into your big strong...health insurance plan...
Our intense feelings... become 100% fully vested in only 90 days...
Let's drink some wine by a fire... and talk about mini vans...
