I especially liked the following one, which reminded me of how often I heard "must be nice" when working construction. I also hear that a lot from anchors on CNBC who probably make a pretty good living, but are always talking about billionaires, and feel relatively poor in comparison.
"They avoid 'if only' fantasies."
"If only I get a better job -- find a man -- lose the weight -- life will be perfect. Happy people don't buy into this kind of thinking."
"The latest research shows that we're surprisingly bad at predicting what will make us happy. People also tend to misjudge their contentment when zeroing in on a single aspect of their lives -- it's called the focusing illusion. In one study, single subjects were asked, 'How happy are you with your life in general?' and 'How many dates did you have last month?' When the dating question was asked first, their romantic lives weighed more heavily into how they rated their overall happiness than when the questions were reversed."
"The other argument against 'if only' fantasies has to do with 'hedonic adaptation' -- the brain's natural dimming effect, which guarantees that a new house won't generate the same pleasure a year after its purchase and the thrill of having a boyfriend will ebb as you get used to being part of a couple. Happy people are wise to this, which is why they keep their lives full of novelty, even if it's just trying a new activity (diving, yoga) or putting a new spin on an old favorite (kundalini instead of vinyasa)."
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