25 Smackers

Dollars, bucks, greenbacks, clams, dead presidents, big ones. 25 of 'em.

If you would like this amount of moolah in your pocket (and by "pocket," I mean "a number designated to an account that you open"), go to ING's Sharebuilder and open an account by May 25th, using the promotion code MAY25. Open the account with a minimum of $25, and they will match that amount.

Now you've got half a C note that you can start trading and become the next Warren Buffett. Then you can move to Omaha and drink all the cherry Coke you want, and maybe update your glasses once every 20 years. Looking sharp.

Mr. Madoff or: How I Learned to Stop Whining and Count My Blessings

I've been whining to people about how much I've lost in the stock market in the last six months, but wow, it could be so much worse. Even if you're having trouble paying for college or your kid's tuition, or even your mortgage, perhaps, it's not as bad as it could be. You could be one of the many who invested with Bernard Madoff.

There are people who, until today, thought they had millions upon millions of dollars invested with the (now infamous) Wall Street legend. Over night, that money has disappeared, as it turns out to have been one giant Ponzi scheme. The origins of that term are worth learning, in case you don't know the story.

This is not what Wall Street needs right now. From madoff.com -

"In an era of faceless organizations owned by other equally faceless organizations, Bernard L. Madoff Investment Securities LLC harks back to an earlier era in the financial world: The owner's name is on the door. Clients know that Bernard Madoff has a personal interest in maintaining the unblemished record of value, fair-dealing, and high ethical standards that has always been the firm's hallmark."

How ironic, indeed.

Retire Rich

In celebration of tax day tomorrow Ben Stein wrote an article on Financial Planning for Men's Health. He outlines 5 steps towards retiring rich.

1) Figure out how much you will need to retire
2) Determine how you'll amass that kind of dough
3) Pick your investments
4) Diversify internationally
5) Forget about it (Colin really likes this one)

Certainly worth the read. Click here.